My story
On March 22, 2019, I cracked up, walked out of the newspaper office and decided I’d drink myself to death. It was the culmination of years of numbing my depression and anxiety with alcohol. But as I approached the point of no return, I was struck by a thought: I deserve to live. I deserve help. I am worth it. I checked into rehab for alcohol addiction the following Monday, setting off the greatest journey of my life.
On April 6, 2019, the day after I checked out of rehab, I ran a marathon. That afternoon, I began writing a memoir titled “40,000 Steps”. In November 2020, I launched the podcast “40,000 Steps Radio”. It stars guests from a wide range of backgrounds, including pro athletes, experts on the topics of addiction and mental illness, musicians, veterans, and more - even a former Ukrainian ballet phenom. The podcast is a safe community where we gather to laugh, cry, learn, grieve, celebrate, and take a sledgehammer to stigma.
Mental Health Warrior
I’ve battled anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. In rehab, I learned that my alcoholism stemmed from my mental illness, and by treating the root of my problems, I would have a puncher’s chance beating addiction. I’ve emerged as a heavyweight champion.
My Program
It takes an individualized program to win the bout against mental illness and addiction. Here’s mine:
Running: I’m a 5-time marathoner training for a 101K.
Exercise: I’ve discovered the power of lifting weights.
Therapy: Nothing solves problems like talking about them. I see my counselor every other week.
Medication: My brain is sick, so I take medicine. Simple.
Mindfulness/meditation: Living in the moment is key.
Spirituality: An ongoing journey toward enlightenment.
Eyes forward
It’s crucial to know our enemy and learn from our experiences. But when I made the decision to stop running from alcohol and start running toward a life of joy and fulfillment, the game changed.